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A PLACE FOR IDA BY PATRICIA RICHARDSON
AN EXERPT
ONE
The year was 1960, it was the second day in their new home. They had moved from a house in a small town in South Carolina. (Her brothers and sisters called it the house behind the woods.) A redneck, named Mr. Floyd, owned it. A big tall cracker with hands as big as bear claws. He always wore the same plaid shirt and dingy coveralls, that reeked of pig manure. His face was always beet-red, and he had a way of looking at you like you were trash, with those beady black eyes that appeared to be placed close to the sides of his head for that purpose. He used the old house to store cotton and tobacco; it was also home to snakes, rats, and God knows what else.
After meeting with the family a few times (they were in desperate need of a place to stay), he decided that it was good enough to rent to niggers. “ They are not much better than field rats,” he said to himself as he reviewed the small dingy shack.
Ida was the youngest of five children and can barely remember any significant details about the house behind the woods, except for the occasional snake that slithered its way into the house. The rats became usual unwelcome members of the household, helping themselves to whatever was accessible in the kitchen at night.
They had electric lighting, but there was no indoor plumbing, they had to pump water for cooking, bathing, and washing. There was an outhouse out back, which was seldom used because of the snakes.
The woods came in handy when they had to relieve themselves, but at night no one dared to go out, so they used a pan until morning. The woods were also utilized for heat and cooking, they had an old black wood-burning stove in the kitchen and a small potbelly wood-burner (heater) in each of the two bedrooms. Wild rabbits were a delicacy at home, since they were the main inhabitants of the woods.
Being the youngest of five children made Ida’s life a lot easier. The years passed quickly, basically carefree, she was too young to be burdened with the discomfort and miseries of the house behind the woods. Through her naďve perception of the world, everyone seemed to function pretty well, until a snake menaced its way in one night, and bit one of her brothers, Harry. Ida had nightmares for months after her brother died, screaming and crying every night about worms and snakes crawling all over her. She sometimes dreamt how she and Harry used to play games underneath the house, or run around their grandmother’s flower garden. But too often in her dream she would relive the night Harry was bitten by the snake. He had gone to the kitchen in the middle of the night, in the dark, to get a drink of water. No one was able to sleep, when Ida had her dreams, until she was overcome with fatigue and weariness from hours of crying and screaming, only to be awakened by another nightmare.
The family was in turmoil; all the children were being deprived of sleep, not to mention the strain of maintaining grades, and the grownups were struggling with the upkeep of the house, so the decision was made to migrate within the city limits. Move! But with what money? Her mother’s brother had left sometime ago, to move to New York, to find a better life for himself. He had gotten married and both he and his wife were employed, with no children. So Ida’s mother decided to write and request his help. He wrote back that he would be glad to help.
So, the family moved into this house which was a far cry from a mansion, but this one had the modern conveniences of indoor plumbing. Hot and cold running water, and an indoor bathroom (so I guess it is a mansion). The bathroom contained a pink tub and a flushing toilet - definitely a new-found luxury - and an electric stove! THANK GOD! And the yard, the beautiful snake-free yard!
TWO
The day was bright and sunny, as Ida sat under the porch of her new home - home to a brother, two older sisters, grandmother and herself - as well as any stray cousin that wanted to stay for a while. She sat watching the bumblebees and the butterflies, oh, how she enjoyed catching bumblebees in a jar, but not at this moment; right now the only thing she wanted to do was think. Think about her life. How does a young black girl (she was nine years old now) survive in a white prejudiced world? Without a mother or father? Where does she fit in? Oh, she’d felt prejudice, and felt it in a way that made her stomach sick. Going to the store always involved some poor white trash, not even her age (let alone cleaner than her) calling her nigger (with their backwoods slang) licking their slithery tongues at her. She was poor, but not dirt poor, as opposed to some of the trash that called her family niggers.
Her daddy was long gone, she’d never known him. But she wished to meet him, and inquire about the other half of herself. Her mother had moved up north to join her brother shortly after the decision was made to move in this new house. Her timing was great, Ida thought. As a result of her parents’ willful abandonment, her grandmother was left to raise four children, in addition to the occasional cousins that dropped by whenever their own homes became hard to bear, or food was scarce. This made their three bedrooms more crowded, and the food supplies diminished.
Her grandmother, Carrie, was a full-figured, five feet tall, with thick coarse hair that she always kept in cornrows underneath a hairnet. She had strong facial features, especially her high cheekbones, which she was most proud of because they were a part of her Native American culture. (Her pride and her strength were also part of her heritage.) Her legs, however, were fat and swollen because of all the standing, and all the hard work, she had done over the years. She forbade the thought of turning family away, being the God-fearing Christian woman that she was. She strongly believed that God would make a way, and He always did.
They never missed a meal, no matter how small. Ida was often left alone, because everyone had responsibilities, her two sisters had to work after school (in some white folks’ home) babysitting their children or cleaning their homes. Oh, the sacrifices that were made in order to keep their heads just above water, just so they wouldn’t fall by the wayside, like so many of their former neighbors had! What an effort and a struggle to keep stomachs satisfied with minimal amounts, and a roof over their heads! The output never amounted to the intake. Her grandfather, Samuel, had disappeared a few years ago. He left at the crack of dawn one morning to go to work and was never seen or heard from again. The family was unsure whether he had been killed and buried by the rednecks or had simply decided that he no longer wanted to be a family man and just moved on.
There was never time for Ida, so she was left alone to wander, and drift into her own little world, a world more desirable than the one she faced everyday. She enjoyed thinking about sex, which she knew nothing about, but she was certainly curious. She’d seen her sisters and their boyfriends hugging and kissing, going out on dates. How she longed for a touch, and affection! As the days progressed she found herself longing and yearning to be held and kissed by a boy (or even by her mom, or dad). So she vowed that one day she would make it her business to feel what she saw on the faces of so many women when their man was around. One day she put her wannabe womanhood to the test. Her brother Henry had one of his friends over, (a friend much older than Ida), so she decided to kiss him and begin her sexual exploration. This was going to be an attempt to fill the void left by the lack of affection throughout her childhood. It was also the search for the father figure she longed for, although she didn’t realize that yet. However, she chickened out and never went through with her plan of sexual exploration.
As the years passed, (and Ida turned thirteen), she began to mature, and experience changes in her body, along with the growing desire to be made love to. The need to have a father made her turn towards any man that showed an interest in her, regardless of appearance. It was pathetic the way she forced herself upon men, with the hope of finding love and a sense of belonging. But the fear of her grandmother and of God out-weighed her desires until she met Billy.
THREE
John, her stray cousin, and Ida were sitting on the front porch talking, enjoying the sunny day while watching the butterflies and bees in their grandmother’s flower garden (what a beautiful garden it was!) when John’s friend Billy arrived. He had the complexion of smooth milk chocolate, and snow-white teeth that almost blinded you when he smiled, with a sexy muscular upper body that looked like it could swallow you up if he embraced you. And his eyes, the most inviting pair of hazel eyes Ida had ever seen. “Hey, John,” he said. “I heard you were visiting for a while.”
Billy lived a few blocks up the road. Ida had never met him, but had heard talk about him (how fine he was) and sometimes he would call.
“Hey yourself,” John said. “Come in out of the sun, and have a seat. Would you like a cold drink? Feels like ninety degrees today.”
“Yes, whew!” Billy said, wiping sweat from his forehead. “A cold drink would be nice.”
“By the way, this is my cousin Ida, could you get us something cold to drink?”
“Sure,” Ida said. And as she began to walk away, she could feel Billy’s eyes burning her backside. Everyone was already telling her she was a heartbreaker at thirteen, and teasing her about being tainted with white blood, because of her bone-straight ebony hair, and honey brown complexion. At her tender age, her behind was already protruding, round as an apple, with the strong shapely muscular legs of a stallion.
When Ida returned with three glasses of lemonade, they were busy talking guy talk and laughing, so she handed them their drinks and sat down on the other side of the porch.
They continued to ramble on, and Ida continued to watch the butterflies and bees. However, from the corner of her eye she could see Billy looking at her legs, and smiling with approval.
Her thoughts started to drift towards her life again, her desires. What to do? How do I build a life for myself in this small hick town? Reality struck Ida when she felt a hand on her shoulders. “A penny for your thoughts,” Billy said.
“Oh, I didn’t hear you walk up.”
“Yea,” he said. “John had to use the john. Ha, ha, John using the john.” They both laughed in unison.
“You are quite a looker,” he said. Ida just looked at him, and smiled. “Do you have a boyfriend?”
“No,” she said, holding her head down, and kicking her feet in embarrassment. “My grandmother would kill me, besides I am too young.”
“Are you?” he asked, cupping her breast with both hands. Her breast was firm and sensitive to his touch, which sent a thrill through her body (especially her groin), a strange, yet delicious feeling. She wanted the feeling to linger but the very thought of enjoying what she felt made her afraid.
“Let me be your man?” Billy asked.
“My man! Are you crazy? My grandmother would kill you for the thought.” (But her body was telling her a different story.)
Billy visited more often after that day, he also continued his ritual (of kissing and caressing her body, her breasts, and asking if he could be her man) as often as possible, until one night she agreed to sneak out.
(She was to be fourteen next month, and her courage and desires were growing stronger.) She was to meet him after everyone was asleep.
Ida shared a bedroom with her two sisters - Emma was short with dusty brown hair, which she always wore hanging straight down with a part in the middle. Ida thought her olive-colored skin complemented her brown speckled eyes, but to Emma her most outstanding feature was her breasts which were the size of watermelons. However, her behind was as flat as a board, and her legs were shaped like baseball bats. The sisters always joked that her figure resembled that of a chicken, but Emma didn’t find that so funny. Rebecca’s best features were her almond-shaped eyes and her perfectly shaped lips, but when God was passing out breasts and butts he forgot about Rebecca, something Ida always knew she envied her for. Ida knew her sisters would be sound asleep after going to school all day, and working for the white folks all evening. Her grandmother was up every morning at 6 am, working as a housekeeper for a white family, the Joneses that lived up on Pine Street so there was no chance of her waking up, only the good Lord himself could pull a miracle like that off. She could barely eat before falling asleep at the dinner table, forgetting to soak her false teeth in the jar. As far as her brother and her stray cousin were concerned, who knows? They were probably already doing what Ida was planning to do.
So, there she was, lying in bed, waiting to make sure everyone was sound asleep, to put her plan into effect. Her heart pounded with the anticipation of seeing Billy. They agreed to meet out front by her grandmother’s flower garden; there were hedges on either side of the garden, which would give him a little cover, if he needed it. Ida slipped out of bed, and tiptoed to the front door, easing the door open, closing it lightly behind her, and leaving behind the simplistic world of innocence. She stepped off the front porch, walking towards the flower garden, calling, “Billy, Billy,” in a soft voice, so softly that he did not hear her at first. When he did not answer, fear flooded her heart. (But that wasn’t the only thing that sent fear through her.)
After a few more calls, Billy walked up behind her, grabbing her in his arms, squeezing, and caressing her body. Ida thought she would faint from the intensity of his touch. Oh, how delicious it felt but, when she regained composure, she asked, “Why didn’t you answer me, boy? You almost gave me a heart attack.”
Billy continued to caress her body while kissing her neck. Ida became overwhelmed with fear and desire. She thought she should talk to Billy before things got too far out of hand. “Billy, please, we need to talk, you are older than I am, and more experienced. I’ve never had a boyfriend before, this is all so confusing to me. I know what I feel, but I am frightened, I want to be with you. You know that, but PLEASE, talk to me, teach me!”
He kissed her long and hard, with so much passion. “Don’t worry, baby, I’ll teach you,” rubbing her thighs at the same time. She felt as though fire was burning within her groin. He finally turned her loose, and agreed to take a walk. They walked down a long dirt road; the night was warm and sweet, the moon was shining bright, perfect for lovers. They held hands, walking, talking, first about general things - school, homework, family members - then she asked, what it felt like to make love, and was it possible she could get pregnant?
There was no one to teach her anything about life. She knew how babies were created from conversations she had overheard between her sisters. Ida learned about her period from listening to girls talk at school.
The first day of her period was a day she’d remember for the remainder of her life. She was afraid, and didn’t know how to speak to anyone about it. So, she hid the blood-stained underwear, and her grandmother found them in the bathroom, underneath the bathtub (the tub stood on four legs), and interrogated her about them. That was when she gained the courage to ask for money to buy sanitary napkins.
Billy explained that when two people loved, and cared about each other, it could be like magic, an out-of-body experience when the two become as one. With each passing word she became more and more anxious to make love. “Oh, Billy, I cannot wait any longer, please make love to me now!” All she could think about was that all her life she had waited for someone to love her.
Billy looked around, then down the dirt road, and asked, “Where, Ida? How are we going to do that right now out in the open?”
She thought for a moment, “I know where we can go! To my favorite place.”
“And where is that?” he asked.
“Underneath my grandmother’s house, that is where I go when I want to be alone, to think. Lately I have been thinking mostly of you when I go there, and that makes it even more special.”
Billy pondered for a moment, and said, “OK, let me see this special place of yours.”
She grabbed his hand tight, thinking about what was going to happen. She walked at such a fast pace, that she was practically dragging him along. She slowed her pace as they reached the house, hoping that no one would wake up as they approached the front porch. It was easy to slip under the front porch without disturbing anyone.
There was nothing to lie on, the sand felt cool and soothing beneath them, and Billy took off his shirt to keep Ida’s hair from being covered with sand. She laid her head on his shirt, and began to relax, staring into Billy’s eyes. At first he just returned the stares, then slowly he began to kiss her, his kisses intensified by the minute. She could feel that burning sensation in her groin returning. Her entire body felt light as though she might fly away. He started caressing her all over, she cried out, “Billy, Billy, what are you doing to me?” But, all she could hear was his deep heavy breathing, finally he said, “Just enjoy it, baby, just enjoy it.”
Billy didn’t want to penetrate her right away because he knew that she was a virgin. He calmed himself down in order to enter slowly, using minimal amounts of force to avoid hurting her. He took a deep breath, and slowly raised her dress and pulled her panties down. He also made a mental note that he had to withdraw, because he didn’t have any condoms; tonight’s act was totally unexpected. He had only planned to smooch tonight.
He entered slowly, she moaned and cried out with a mixture of pleasure and pain, which soon turned into sheer pleasure. The passion between them reached such levels of intensity that Ida thought that she would explode into pieces and float away. She later felt an explosion that made her body shudder, (she had no idea this was an orgasm). She moaned and called his name, “Billy, Billy,” as she trembled with pleasure. Almost simultaneously, he cried out, “Ida, Ida, I love you, baby, you are the best that I ever had.” (In his heart he knew she was the best, for she was his sweet virgin, he knew that he truly loved her.) He also knew that he had to withdraw before ejaculating because he was not wearing a condom, and he did so with a loud moan, sweat pouring from everywhere. His semen, thick and white, drained down her thighs.
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